Surprises

I was hit with a few surprises, today!

First, Pops was driving a motorcycle down Pearland Parkway, today! Surprise!!

Those of you that know Pops (my dad), know that there must be a mistake!! And, there is! The boys love looking around as we drive, and they find tractors, trailers, big trucks, and all other fun "boy" stuff to find. Well, today, Chap spotted a motorcycle! He was rather excited with his "I Spy" object, and yelled - MOTORCYCLE! I, then, start looking around trying to find it - and sure enough, coming upon my right is a motorcycle. The gentleman driving a motorcycle has on blue jeans and a white t-shirt - and we are now seeing the back of him as he drives past us. Whit gets excited with the new found transportation mode, and hollars... "POPS ON DA CYCLE!" The mans' attire was somewhat similar to my dads' on weekends when we visit, so Whit made that connection. I did have to tell him that I don't think he'd ever find Pops on a motorcyle!

Secondly, I have been amazed with how the appetite stimulant has been working. We started it up again Friday (after he got over his little illness), and last night - he ate, and ate, and ate! Then, the real surprise came with tonight's meal. I have put green beans in front of Whit I don't know how many times, and have NEVER gotten him to even touch one! Chap and Maggie love them, but he has never given them a second thought. Well, tonight, he downed three helpings (Whit-sized servings)!! I think I am still in shock!!



I have been reminded lately that Spring will come again soon. I love the season of new life, and new growth! And, I love that it is right around the corner!

Loneliness vs. Security

I was recently at an event full of people. Everyone mingled so effortlessly; sharing stories, thoughts, and ideas. I felt so lonely. I am rarely comfortable in a setting such as this, and would rather be at home in a safe and secure setting. But, I politely smiled and mustered up the confidence to make connections with others in order to dampen my insecurities. Much to my surprise, by the end of the event - my emotions shifted, and I was enjoying conversation. No, I wasn't the one doing most of the talking or engaging in elaborate stories, but I was sitting at a table with a mother who was struggling with her 4-year old's behaviors since the birth of a new sibling. Suddenly, I didn't feel so lonely anymore... and was ready to lend an ear to listen. I gradually gained security.

Loneliness. Such a dreary word.

In our quest to have Whit gain weight - he has decided to get sick and run fever with no other symptoms. Just the thing we wanted - him to NOT eat! In order for me to make my appointments with work today, Mr. and Mrs. Post graciously offered to keep him. Upon his dismissal from our house - Chap was lonely.

Chap had his own set of issues last night - some that had the potential of landing us in the hospital this morning. However, things resolved on their own, and we were free to stick to our planned agenda for last night and today. In Chap's distress last night, he simply said as he was going to bed... in a room that every other night is shared with his twin brother... "I need Whit." No tears or sadness... just a simple statement that he needed his brother's company.

He was lonely.

This morning, as we went throughout our routine to get ready for school and work - I gave Chap his juice. His response... "Where's Whit's juice?" I answered that it wasn't here, and he said - "Whit's sick!" I affirmed his statement, and we moved on to getting clothes on. "Where's Whit's shirt?" "Where's Whit's diaper?" "Where's Whit's shoes?" "Whit's sick!" We get in the car to go to school... "Where's Whit's backpack?"

We drove along for about 10 minutes, listening to childrens' songs on the radio, both Maggie and Chap just listening. Then, I hear a sweet little voice from the back of my car say, "I miss Whit."

He was lonely.

Whit came back home this evening, and although he didn't feel great - he helped Chap return to himself. As we were getting ready and settled for bed, Chap's choice of song was "Jesus" - aka - Jesus Loves Me. Such a simple song, yet so profound.

In all of our loneliness, if only we can remember that one statement... Jesus loves me... and let it ground us in the truth of who we are in God. We don't have to be lonely - God is with us! Just as Whit's presence gave Chap security, so can God's presence give us security.

Whit Update

I sat on the floor, getting Whit down to his diaper in a GI doctor appointment last Friday… ready to weigh him. He was holding two little Thomas the Train engines, and had been most content playing with them in the waiting room. He usually only has one, and Chap the other…. But not today… he had them both! The nurse told me he needed a dry diaper and no trains! I had somewhat grown out of the “Oh, goodness, what will he weigh today” phase of his life – until he stood on the scale. I looked at the number on the scale. In the world of Texas Childrens Hospital… everything is in grams. At birth, he weighed 850 grams (1 lb 15 oz). Friday, he weighed 8.5 kg. My math wasn’t quick enough to figure out exactly how many pounds that was in that second… but I knew it wasn’t enough! I looked at my mom, and as she said… the color in my face went straight to my feet!! Then, the nurse says, “18 lbs… and something ounces.” My mind stopped at the 18 lbs! He had been hovering around 20 lbs, and instead of gaining… he has LOST! That’s not even a legal weight to be turned around in his carseat!!

After the color returned to my face, we proceeded to the room where we would meet with the GI specialist. Many of you that know me, know that doctors offices are not on my list of favorite places. I hold them to a high standard and have high expectations for them, due to past experiences. But, mainly for the purpose that I am putting all of my trust in their knowledge and understanding; and when I put my trust and belief in something… it is all or nothing! The first lady that walked in was the nurse practitioner… I had met her once before, as she was a student when I took the boys in the summer of 2007 for their Meyer Center Neurological/Development appointment (that’s a whole other story – but it did add to my list of bad experiences). She was very sweet spirited that time, so my heart rate settled just a bit when she walked in. We discussed his history and his present. Then, in walked 4 more professionals. Whit’s facial expression and eye gaze to each individual person is exactly what I felt like doing. He was sitting in Mom’s lap, and he just looked up and stared at each of them… as if saying… “You just try and take me out of my Bibs’ lap!” Each individual that we spoke with… the nurse practitioner, the GI specialist, a nutritionist, a psychologist, and a social worker… ALL met and exceeded my standards! It was a productive and pleasant visit, and I did not walk out of there feeling like an inadequate mother! But, most importantly we got some advice and strategies to use in order to attempt to help Whit gain weight.

We came home with a list of foods that can add calories and protein to his diet. Of course, Corbett was reading them – and putting them on our grocery list with excitement and mouth drooling! He said that it was his way of supporting his son! We also started an appetite stimulant tonight. So, on our quest to make our IUGR baby gain weight… we will try this for a few months. Then, will see an endocrinologist in a few months to get our foot in the door for possible growth hormones in a few years.

He has had a recent language explosion... putting more and more words together. However, the intelligibility is still much to be desired. We were at Maggie's gymnastics tonight. A lady came in and sat in a chair next to me (the same chair Chap and Whit had been getting on and off throughout the time there). Whit leaned against my legs, looked up at me and said: "That is her chair." I was pleased with the idea that my two year old had the desire to share! Then, the lady thought he said: "Get up my chair." Hmmm, there goes the idea of sharing in HER mind! Oh well, I didn't have the heart to tell her that she didn't understand him right.

Happy Valentines Day

Make a Smilebox greeting

All Things are Possible

I was watching Corbett last night with Whit. Whit was not understanding the task at hand, and Corbett was getting frustrated and looking at me for encouragement and understanding. Whit, in his carefree attitude, was smiling and repeating everything Corbett was saying - in his own muddled language. Corbett looked at him and began to give him the lecture of working harder and persevering (what all two year olds need to hear, right!?).

Tasks come so easily for Chap, and it sometimes seems Whit is left in a cloud of dust. I fear days ahead when Whit may view himself less than his expectations and potential.

My heart sank. If this scenario should come true, Whit would only inherit my own thoughts of inadequacy. When I look back at my childhood, I see a little girl struggling to find her place in this world. Things did not come easily for me, and I piled failure on top of failure. I had to work too hard for not much success, and I wanted to give up. It wasn't until I forced my heart and mind to take the risk and believe in myself, that I began to understand that all things are possible.

I so desire to instill an "all things are possible" attitude into all of my children.

Maggie has really been into letters, lately. Not the kind that "Pre-K-ers" learn to write and read... I mean the kind that you fold up, put into an envelope, and mail to someone. She hasn't quite mastered how the mail system works, but she thinks it goes something like this...

Draw/write a picture.
Fold it.
Put it in an envelope.
Put it on Mommy's desk.
The letter disappears.
Presto... like magic - the letter has arrived at its' destination.

Yesterday, Maggie drew a picture - complete with coloring, scissors, glue. I asked her about her masterpiece, and she just answered... "It's for God!" As she said that - she placed it on my desk - in the "out going mail" spot.

Now what?

After a few seconds of panic, and wondering how I was going to explain this to a 4 year old... I discovered a teachable moment! I brought her back over to me, and asked her how we would get it to Him, since he is in heaven... and the mail doesn't go there... He can see it here, and He saw you drawing it for Him.

Hmmm... I could see it all trying to process. Instead of me providing a teachable moment for her... she turned it around on me. She opened the envelope, opened up her drawing, and held it high above her head, closer to God in heaven. "There, I just sent it to him!"

All things are possible.... God can receive mail!


Chap, with all of the determination he could muster, took his PJs from me the other night and said, "I 'doe' it!!" At the risk of crushing his spirit, I handed them to him - and let him proceed, but I told him to tell me when he wanted help. I stood up, and went about a few chores - keeping an eye on him and the job at hand. He put his shirt on the floor, and he mumbled to himself while working hard "I put my pants on!" Then, after a few minutes, he came running to me, with one leg in and one leg out! He was sooo proud of himself, and yelled... "I 'doe' it, Mommy!! I put my pants on!!" His face was just beaming as I helped him put his other leg in... as if he'd just conquered the world!

All things are possible!

On the way to school this morning - the discussion of the sky came up. So, I started talking about things in the sky... clouds, airplanes, etc. Whit said... "Cow say moooo!" In my confusion, I started questioning his reasoning, and came up with the realization that he was having trouble discriminating the two words... "cows" and "clouds". So, I started describing clouds - Chap was pointing to them, Maggie was helping, too. I said they were "white and puffy... in the sky!" Whit said... "Puppy at clinic." My concern began to escalate, as now he was having trouble with "puppy" and "puffy". Yes, we do have an audiology exam coming up, but the story does get better. We talked more about clouds, sky, puppies, and cows on our way home from school. We got home, and I asked him... "Whit, what does a cow say?"

"Moooo"

"Whit, where are clouds?"

It was muddled and tough to get out, but his answer was... "In the sky!!" He got it!

All things are possible!

A situation in my work today reminded me that my kids need for me to believe in them, and show it through words and actions; through support and understanding; and through an example of believing in myself - as an adult - right where I am. God can pass the truth right through me, and onto my children... all things are possible!

The all things may be different and varying degrees... but whatever we put our minds and hearts to - if we give it our all, and take the rest of it to God... it is possible!

Phil. 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

Mother of the Year

I sometimes have days when I do my best to do everything right - but somehow my "Mother of the Year" award gets thrown out the window!

It was a beautiful day as I was driving from work, going to pick up the kids from school. So, I got the crazy idea that we would all be in a great mood after school (I think God was teasing me by providing us beautiful weather, therefore I thought we'd all have beautiful attitudes!). We went to a place called The Painted Potter (to make a birthday gift). The last time I tried this by myself, it turned out to not be the easiest task I'd taken on with all three of them. But, for some reason - since they are all 3 months older... I had in my mind that things would go as beautifully as the weather!

WRONG!

Whit + the word paint = mess! A tired Chap + the word "no" = meltdown. The products of their creativity turned out great! However, I am rather wilted by my over zealousness to be productive!

Mother of the Year (yeah right!)

There was also the day when I put 2 bags of carrots in Maggie's lunch, and none in Whit's (the one that needs all of the calories he can get!)

Mother of the Year!

Then, another day when I picked up Maggie from school - and asked her as we were leaving... "Maggie, have your pants been on backward all day?" She quickly said, as if nothing was wrong... "They have! I like them like that!"

Mother of the Year!

I have been loosely potty training Chap... and I say loosely, because he is winning (loves his "unnawears" - hates to potty on the potty) - and I am losing. I cannot admit defeat. Maybe when I take out the word "loosely," then we'll be getting closer to the actual task at hand... rather than just having fun wearing pull-ups! I've also learned that his Mother's Day Out prefers him to NOT be sent to school in snapped onesies "during training"... What about those cool days, when all he has is a long sleeve shirt that just happens to be a onesie?? It snaps easily!

Mother of the Year!

Today, as we were driving home from one of our crazy excursions of the day, Maggie was talking about what she wants to do when she grows up. Be a doctor, a nurse, and a Mommy... she wants twins... a boy and a girl... named "Chap" and "Princess."... and she wants to marry Whit! hmmm... have a little educating to do, don't I! (We'll save that for later).

I know the power of prayer... Please pray for them...

*An update on my sister-in-law, Amy and her husband, Christopher. Thank you for your prayers. That sentence seems so small, smaller than it feels. I am praying that you will see past my muddled thoughts - I have been sitting here for an eternity, it seems, trying to think of the words to muster up concerning the news they received on Monday. I remember the pain, the grief, the anger, the confusion, and the weakness like it was yesterday. Her news on Monday brought all of the pain back - and put me in bed with a migraine, and on my knees reaching for answers. I hurt for her. Her heart is broken, and I want you to hear the story of Monday from her...

"Well, the easiest way to say it is that we are just devastated by what we were told yesterday. There is no doubt in my mind that God is good, strong, and mighty. He can perform a miracle to totally heal our baby or make the symptoms of the syndrome less severe. (We were told that the section of chromosome that is missing is so large that there would be severe delays in brain development.) But I feel the miracle we need most right now is a miracle in our hearts, that we would be prepared to care for a severely handicapped child who will probably not be able to walk, or talk, and may not be able to eat.

As you might suspect, tears of sorrow and broken dreams are the norm around here. Will I ever stop crying? Now more than ever, we need your prayers. It means so much to know that people are praying for our little boy and for us. I don’t know how I could survive this ordeal (or even the next minute) without Jesus, and I’m thankful that I don’t have to do so. Scriptures are a comfort and sometimes I just read some of them over and over and over."

Please pray for them. Pray for their strength, for I know they are weak. Pray for comfort, for I know they are unsettled. Pray that they will be covered with a blanket of joy and peace... for after all - there is life inside of her - growing, moving, and LOVED very dearly by many!